Unwelcome Revelations
by lecworthy
Summary: (Critical Role). The aftermath of dragon-slaying leaves time for self-reflection, and Percival is surprised as to the discovery this leads him to. Tag to "Hope."


**Note: I do not, for the record, believe this is the moment Percy realized he loved Vex ("they are definitely not worth you" anyone?), nor do I think he would have acted on it at this point. Regardless, this would not leave me alone and I had to write it. So, here. Suffer with me.**

 **Oh, and I don't own Critical Role.**

Percy had not expected this day to end in a party with a glass of wine. Maybe regrouping, maybe grieving, maybe _dead_ , but certainly not celebrating. There were many times going into battle where he had not expected to come out alive, most of all with the revolution of Whitestone, but this time was different. This band of seven misfits, these ragtag mercenaries who had rescued him from a prison cell, the group formerly known as the SHITs, had just slain a fucking _dragon_ , and they had saved a whole town in the process.

And there were still three more waiting.

That thought was always in the back of his mind whenever they defeated danger, that there was always more waiting. He tried not to let it diminish the relief of the victory, but he had learned to accept that peace was not a sentiment that followed this group. Not that Percy himself deserved it. Peace deserted him long before he joined Vox Machina. While previously the thought drove him (quite literally) mad, now it only pushed him to fight for others to have the peace he would never have.

He allowed himself to glance around the lively inn and search out his party members among the Westruun citizens. Scanlan, he could tell, was recounting some outlandish story, as always, and he had his audience entranced. Grog and Pike stood near him, both with casks of ale, cheering him on. Vax sat nearer to the front with a group of citizens, listening intently to whatever they said to him. Keyleth sat alone, much like himself, simply watching.

As his eyes scanned the room, Percy's gaze followed the door, and he caught a glimpse of long, dark hair exiting the inn. He focused his eyes on Vex'ahlia, watching her gently glance outside and then close the door behind her. His gaze remained on the closed door, though now he could only see her faint outline from the window.

Vex'ahlia was the first face he'd seen when being rescued, the first taste he'd had of normalcy in many years. She warmed up to him the fastest out of the whole group, with most of the others being particularly wary of this random white-haired prisoner they picked up on their way. Percy was wary of them too, to be fair, and spoke very few words the first weeks of their companionship. But Vex never gave up on him; she sat with him in silence during meals and wished him goodnight without expecting a response. He'd given her every bloody dime he'd made, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He knew nothing could ever repay all that she'd done for him, but he liked to try anyway, because he loved her -

Percy froze. He ducked his head down and cleared his throat, his mind reeling. A thought like that had never crossed his mind with such certainly, such finality. He'd known he loved Vex, of course, along with the whole party, but not - _not like this._ He had long accepted that love and romance was not a thing meant for him. That was meant for sweet Keyleth and broody Vax, not broken Percival. And yet somehow, he'd defied his own safeguards. _He loved Vex._

He didn't know why the thought scared him so much. He had, mere hours ago, stared down a bloody dragon, and he was scared of his own feelings. He had inhabited a literal demon in his mind for quite some time, and yet Orthax seemed like nothing compared to _this._

The room suddenly felt very small. He no longer saw the citizens, all the people celebrating the return of their home, he only saw her. Her outline was clear through the window even in the dark night. Percy suddenly felt the need to join her. If not to tell her, than just to be with her, to make sure that he could. He stood from his chair and headed towards the door, his slight intoxication helping, breathing deeply as he -

"Percy. Percy!" He startled at a sudden force grabbing his hand and stopping him in place. He turned to see a panicking Keyleth looking straight at him, her eyes begging for help.

"What?"

"This is giving me a lot of anxiety," she forced out, not taking her eyes off of him. "There's a lot of people here."

Percy, having felt the same sentiment just a moment ago, narrowed his eyes. "Is it about your feelings about Vax? Is that the whole problem right now?"

"No."

He cast another glance at the door. "I really don't - "

"There's so many people calling us heroes."

Well. That was certainly not what he expected. "Yes," he said, not understanding.

"We're not heroes." Keyleth's voice hitched a bit.

"We pretty much are, actually. I hate to tell you this."

"No, we're not. We're terrible people. We're terrible people!" Her words got faster as she went on, and Percy stroked her arm. Keyleth was his best friend; his ill-advised romantic gestures could wait.

"Why are they telling us this?" she continued. "Oh, god. Oh, god. If I have to shake one more town person's hand." Percy easily recognized the signs of panic and simply held her as she became less coherent. "I feel like I was cursed. I was cursed. I don't want any of this. I don't want any of this!"

Percy started again, but they both paused as they heard heavy footsteps beside them and turned to see Kerrek approaching them with a warm grin. "Is this your first time?" he said, catching Keyleth's eye.

Seeing the man's genuine concern, he gently passed Keyleth onto Kerrek, and she followed willingly. Percy had never been the most comforting of people, and though he loved Keyleth, he felt he was not best suited to handle this situation. Besides, he had matters to tend to -

At that moment, the door opened once again and Vex'ahlia stepped inside. Keyleth and Kerr made way to exit, passing her as they did. "Drunk? Already?" she smiled, patting Keyleth on the back.

"No, not enough," the druid mumbled.

"Panic attack." Percy smiled slightly as he watched Kerr lead his friend outside, knowing she was in capable hands. Vex nodded sympathetically at his explanation, but she seemed distracted and worn, not really looking at him in the eye. Percy himself felt a bit struck, not wanting to lead her right back outside, and certainly not wanting to embarrass himself in front of all of Westruun. So he simply smiled and let her join her brother at the front of the inn. He returned to his own seat alone at the table, his heartbeat slowing down and breath evening.

At some point, Keyleth and Kerr wandered back in the party, and Percy wandered out. He allowed himself only a moment of pity sitting in the moonlight alone. It was not worth ruminating over, he decided. This little revelation of his wouldn't change anything between them, as it shouldn't. Vex'ahlia deserved the whole world, and that was far more than he could offer her. Though he knew, if it came down to it, he would try. He would _break_ the whole damn world for her, requited affection or not. He would spend eternity doing what he could do deserve her.

And so, he concluded, eternity could wait awhile longer.


End file.
